Hello my lovelies, and Happy New Year! Well, not really, but with this post I am officially all caught up with 2023, so I think it's worth saying again, haha!
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Sky giving mixed signals over Glashedy.
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Rainbow over Pollan Bay.
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Here are just a few photos from the last two weeks in December. As I
mentioned before, my last few Christmases haven't been the best, because
I was either in solitary confinement, or spent most of my time in
immense pain waiting for surgery. So, I was more determined than ever to
make 2023 a fabulous Christmas, and thanks to all my wonderful family
and friends, my wish came true! I flew back to England, stayed with
Gareth, and got to see so many other people while I was there. I got to
catch up with friends I hadn't seen in decades, go to my niece's
Christmas concert, take part in a festive pub quiz, spend Christmas Day
with my family, and Boxing Day with Gareth's family, all while sporting
my best Christmas jumpers, rocking out to cheesy Christmas music, and
drinking non-alcoholic mulled wine. It felt so good to really spend
quality time with loved ones, and not feel rushed, or be unwell, and I
was truly grateful for all of it.
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Off on my Christmas Holidays!
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Rainbow at Derry Airport, seen from the plane.
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Shrewsbury Christmas Lights.
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Shrewsbury Christmas Lights.
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Having said that, by the end of the trip, I was VERY much looking
forward to flying home to Ireland. I was a little concerned by the
intensity of my desire to leave, if I'm honest. And because I have a
tendency to overthink, I started second guessing things, and worrying
myself. It didn't feel right that I should feel so happy to be leaving
Gareth and heading home, and I wanted to get to the bottom of that. It
took me a couple of days, and some deep thoughts and meditation, but the
answer seemed so obvious once I got there. The truth is, when I lived
in America and came back to England on trips, I felt miserable going
back to the States, for multiple reasons. America was never home for me,
and while I lived there almost 18 years, I was always homesick. Plus, I
was working stressful jobs, with too many hours and not enough pay. My
health issues were so much worse when I lived there, not surprising with
the extra stress, and it cost me SO MUCH MONEY to just be passed around
from doctor to doctor, most of whom clearly did not have my best
interests at heart. Obviously I had to put down some roots, and I made
some wonderful friends there, but I was living in big, noisy cities with
high crime rates, and that added to the mental load. I just didn't have
much to look forward to when I returned to America after a trip back to
England.
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Christmas Eve Celebrations. |
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Christmas Eve Jolabokaflod.
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Christmas Day with my Beautiful Sister.
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Guinness Zero waiting for family.
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Now, however, I am finally living my dream life. I am living in the
area where I have always wanted to live, and I am surrounded by
beautiful scenery which inspires me every day. I LOVE the peace and
solitude here. I love the wide open skies and the rugged beauty of the
Wild Atlantic Way. I love my house and everything in it, and I have the
space, both physically and mentally, to create and pursue my dreams. And
the truth is, as much as I love going back to Shrewsbury and seeing
family and friends, I really miss my house and my views here. And this
is a GOOD thing! It is a good thing to be happy where you live, I just
never knew what that felt like before! Even when I grew up in
Shrewsbury, I felt stifled, I always had the urge to travel, and I never
lived alone, so I never had the solitude my soul craved. This surprises
a lot of people, but I am very much an introvert. I can be "on" when
I'm in social situations, and I love spending quality time with people,
but I need to be on my own afterwards to let my batteries recharge. Now
that I live in such a remote area, I finally have the peace and quiet I
have always craved, and after spending two weeks of non-stop
socialising over Christmas, I was more than ready to get back home and
recharge.
I am very grateful that I was able to communicate all of this to Gareth
and he wasn't offended. He understands me, supports my dreams, and wants
me to be happy. It's a wonderful feeling! The plan in the future is for
him to move to Ireland with me. After spending so many years living
alone, this will definitely be an adjustment for both of us! Luckily, we
are able to have completely open and honest communication with each
other, and he does not feel offended if I need to say something like,
"Hey, I love you, but I need some alone time." And since we are able to
talk about all of this now, it will only be that much easier to adjust
in the future. I'm looking forward to the day he moves here, but in the
meantime, I love the life that we have now!