Hello again my lovelies, how are you all doing? I am sorry to sound repetitive, but I have been dealing with a lot of health issues lately, so I haven't been out and about as much as I'd like! These photos are from the second week in November. I did finally feel well enough to leave the house on the Friday and Saturday that week, and it felt so good to get dressed and put some makeup on, and feel more like myself again for a couple of days.
I had a couple of appointments on the Friday, and got an early bus to Carndonagh to get my hair cut at Harmony Hair. I had some time before my appointment and stopped into the lovely Corner Coffee to warm up. Thanks to my recurring GI issues, I hadn't had any appetite that week, so I wasn't able to enjoy a proper full breakfast as I would have liked. Still, some tea and toast made with their homemade sourdough bread and jam hit the spot, and I was able to enjoy a quiet hour, and revel in the fact that sometimes the simple little things in life are the most enjoyable! After my hair appointment, (another fantastic cut from Ashling!) I had a look around the charity shops before getting the bus home, and then had time for a nap before I was out again for my next appointment. Luckily, this one was at Beauty&Co, just down the road from me, and Amy did another beautiful job on my nails. After feeling so unwell for so long, it was a real treat to get a little pampered.
The next day was the Christmas Fair at the Clonmany Community Centre, which I really wanted to check out. I had had my own stall there last year, which I decided against this year, as I wasn't sure if my health would allow me to do it. I was pleased I was able to walk over and support in person though. There seemed to be more stalls than ever this year, and so many beautiful handmade crafts. I found a few wee gifts for family and friends, as well as some homemade Guinness and Garlic chutney for myself. I haven't tried it yet, but it sounded too good to miss! After having a good look around the fair, I went over to the Market House Café to meet a friend for lunch. It was so good to see her after many months and we had a good catch up. Again, I didn't have much appetite, but I had a bowl of their delicious homemade vegetable soup, which I really enjoyed.
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Mist over Pollan Bay and the Isle of Doagh.
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Sunset over Binnion, taken at 16:56.
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Soft light over Pollan Bay, taken at 16:32.
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Wee break at Corner Coffee in Carndonagh.
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Selfie.
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Wrapped up and ready to go out.
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Selfie with Bulaba in the background.
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Afternoon sunshine over Crockaughrim.
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Gaddyduff, Clonmany.
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Delicious soup at the Market House Cafe, Clonmany.
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One of my goals in moving to this quiet corner of Ireland was to be able
to live a peaceful, more simple life. I have lived in several very
large cities. Sometimes, - rarely, I miss some of the
amenities I had there. Mostly food related, because any time I had a
craving for a certain cuisine, I could go out and get it, or even have
it delivered to my door. None of that outweighed the constant stress I
felt from the inevitable noise, bustle, and crime. Now, more than ever, I
am so glad that I left America when I did, and I don't have a single
regret about that, or about moving here.
A lot of people
have told me they wouldn't like it here, they feel it would be too quiet for them. For
me, it is perfect. I am surrounded by stunning views on all sides, which
inspire my creative side daily. I live within walking distance, or
public transport routes to everything I need. I live so much closer to
family and friends in England and can visit them regularly. I miss my
friends from America, but several have already visited me here, and more
are planning on coming soon, and we are so lucky to be able to keep in
touch so easily these days with technology. I am at peace with myself
and my surroundings. I feel like I am home, for the first time in my
life. Yes, my health hasn't been great lately, because when you have
have multiple autoimmune diseases, they are going to inevitably flare up
from time to time. But! Both my physical and mental health have been
infinitely better since moving here. The slower pace of life and gentler
climate has made such a difference, as has the clean air and food.
Finally,
I am living my best life. Doing the things that I love. I think that is
the secret. Figuring out what is important to YOU, doing what makes YOU
happy. So much of our lives is taken up by external pressures and
expectations. Of course, we all have basic needs, but how often are we
driven by society's expectations? Do you strive for that big house, the
fancy car, that big promotion, the designer labels, all for yourself? Or
because you have been made to feel like you're not successful unless
you are seen to have it "all"? Have you been killing yourself to prove a
point to someone whose opinion really shouldn't matter? Have you been
working all the extra hours to make more money so you can give your
family what they want, ...when really they would just prefer more
quality time with you? So many of us realise too late that we have spent
a lifetime working jobs we despise, spending time with people who don't
value us, and by then, do we even have the time or energy to change
things for the better?
When I was younger, whenever I spoke about my goals to move to Ireland and be an artist, most people
didn't understand. My dreams were dismissed at best, or mocked and
insulted at worst. I was told these things would never happen, that they
weren't realistic, that I didn't have the skills or talent to succeed.
As you might imagine, I was crushed. Instead of pursuing my creative
goals when I left college, I got into retail, then restaurant work,
because having a "proper" job was seen as more important and
respectable. I put my dreams on hold for so long, and moving to America
pushed them back even further. I got into relationships that I shouldn't
have, with people that didn't value me, because I didn't know how to
value myself. I endured years of abuse until I finally found the
strength to leave. It's taken years of healing since then to learn to
like myself even a little bit. I regret all the time I wasted, with
people and in places where I didn't belong.
I wonder where I could
be by now, how different my life would look, if I'd been able to believe in myself from a young age. I
know that everything we face in our lives shape who we are. I am who I
am now because of everything I have endured. It certainly hasn't been
easy. But. I value everything that I have now that much more, because I
know how things felt before.
I know that people look at my life now
and think how lucky I am, and they're right. But it wasn't luck that got
me to this point. It was literal blood, sweat, and tears. It was so
much physical and emotional stress that my health is ruined for life. It
was self harm, suicide attempts, psych wards, and years of therapy. It
was being penniless, and sleeping on the floor of a friend's house. It
was packing up my entire life and moving States, Countries, and
Continents, starting over each time. It was taking huge risks, many of
which did not pay off. ...Until finally, finally, I found the strength
to live my life for ME. To stop putting my dreams on hold for the sake
of other people. To trust in myself and my dreams and give up everything
to chase them. And look at me now. Living well truly is the best
revenge! ;-)
This post kind of got away from me, but it felt
good to write it. If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope
that you are happy in the life you've chosen. And if not, maybe start thinking
about the changes you could make to be happier. We are coming up to a
new year, the perfect time to make some resolutions. Not everything has
to be a drastic change. In fact, starting small is easier, but even
small steps count, so long as you're headed in the right direction!
I
wish you a very merry festive season. The darkest days of the year are
perfect to devote some time to looking back over how far you've come and
what you've achieved. Are you honestly happy with where you are now? If
so, fantastic! If not... maybe start making some plans to implement in
January. And I wish you all the best of everything in 2025!
With love always.
