Hello again my loves, I hope you are doing well. As I said yesterday, I am making an effort to catch up with my Blog, amongst other things. This week will be a busy one however, so after today there will be another break. I am hoping to keep the momentum going again next week though.
These photos are from the first two full weeks in February this year. I can't write too much about that time though. Going through them and reliving the memories that came with them has not been easy. I went on some lovely walks, and I visited some cousins in Belfast. (Though as usual, I was too busy to remember to take many photos there.) Those were pleasant times. However, underneath it all, the sense of impending doom that I had been feeling for some time continued to haunt me. Valentine's weekend, my fears were proven well founded. Some evidence came to light in one of the most painful ways imaginable, and in the end, I had to choose myself, and end my relationship with Gareth.
This is the main reason why I have been struggling so much this year. Gareth was, quite simply, the love of my life. There are some things you do not bounce back from, however, and given my past history and traumas, I knew I had to choose myself. For once. And forever. I would prefer to be lonely because I am alone, than because I am with the wrong person. Despite knowing it is for the best, it wasn't an easy decision, and I have been dealing with the pain and the depression ever since. As I said, it has been a difficult year.
I am still here though, and I am still fighting every day.
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